Volunteers Week 2024 - Jade, our hospital & postal Volunteer shares her story

04/06/2024

Today, we shine a spotlight on Jade, one of our Volunteers at Aching Arms, Jade gives her time in memory of her son Harry. 

This is Jade's story:

"When my son Harry was stillborn in March 2016, I was given an Aching Arms bear which brought me so much comfort in those very early days of grief, and still does. I read up about the charity and realised how fantastic the charity was in supporting bereaved parents and I knew I wanted to become part of it. 

Aching Arms means so much to me. It brought me comfort when Harry was born, and it still brings me comfort to this day, just in new ways. Through volunteering for Aching Arms, I am part of a fantastic charity and community that supports others with baby loss. 

I became a postal volunteer, sending out bears to bereaved parents initially before then becoming a hospital volunteer as well, where I supply Aching Arms bears to Pinderfields Hospital in Wakefield. I love both roles so much as I do it all in honour of Harry and know I am helping other bereaved parents which means the world to me. 

Harry was our first child and so longed for. We tried for fifteen months to get pregnant and the joy when we found out I was pregnant was unreal. The pregnancy was going well, we found out we were having a baby at a private scan around 16 weeks along. On our twenty-week scan, our world was turned upside down.  

We were told that Harry had Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum (ACC), where the middle part of his brain that connects both hemispheres had not developed and at this point in the pregnancy never would. We underwent weekly scans, including MRI scans for Harry, heartbreakingly his prognosis got worse where we were told he was at risk of developing hydrocephalus, and because of the ACC, Harry may not live until the end of my pregnancy, or if he did live he may not be with us for long, or he could live for so many years but his quality of life would be severely impacted to almost non-existent. To the point where he may not be able to swallow independently or have capacity to live his life, rather he would just ‘exist’. Our hearts were shattered.  

Ultimately, we had to make the most selfless decision of our lives, one that no parent should have to make. We decided to heal Harry so that he would not suffer. Harry was born on 24.03.2016, our family came to visit the evening he was born, and we got lots of family photos. We slept the night with him, and I spent the next few days visiting. He was so perfect, beautiful, and angelic. We miss Harry and think of him every single day without fail. He has sent us two beautiful daughters and we speak about him often and include him in everything.  

It makes me so proud to hear our daughters talk about their big brother. Harry made me a mum, and I will be forever grateful to him and his strength, as through his strength, he has given us strength. If sharing my story helps anyone to know they are not alone, I have done Harry justice. "

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